Saturday, June 20, 2009

Unexpectations

So, life is throwing some curve balls... and I'm realizing that everyone, including myself, is not immune to hardships and things that stop you in your tracks and make you think this thought,
"I never thought this would happen to me."

You'd think I would know this already, because I've already found myself in this situation a few times...

But as of late, I have realized that bad things can happen. Either on purpose or accidentally... and they can happen to me.

Why is it that we think we are invincible? I hear about someone else who was in an accident, or has a rare disease, or cancer, or their husband died, and while my heart always goes out to them, I often don't give it a thought that this could be my life someday... that the ebb and flow of unpredictable situations, diseases and relational issues could indeed land in my path.

And then it does land in my path.

I am a delayed reactor... I go though things and am quite strong and able through the process of the crisis and pain, and then, weeks or even months later, I have my moments of panic of the situation. If someone like my father, the physically strongest man I've ever met, can be very seriously injured by a piece of farm equipment, and stopped in his tracks... (all he knew of his life has now changed) If someone like him can be hurt, then anyone in my life could be hurt. I know this might not make sense, but when you're living in the "life is invincible" reality, the new "anyone can get hurt" reality is hard to swallow.

I continue to have dreams about my children being hurt, and my own arm being damaged in an accident like my dad's was. And it always strikes me when I'm telling a friend about it and they say, don't worry because that probably won't happen. Because really, it might happen. There is nothing, absolutely nothing, I can do to prevent one of my loved ones from being hurt. It is just part of the unknowns of this life. Do you think my dad ever thought that he'd be hurt like this? I guarantee you he didn't. Do you think my friend from church planned to loose her husband 9 months after their wedding? NO!

So where I am today makes my heart incredibly thankful. For the most part, my husband and children are alive and well. We are healthy and happy.

The word is cherish. And as simple as it is, no matter if you've been hurt or not, each day of this life can be a gift for us, if we want it.