Faith in Troubles

1 Thessalonians 3:2,5
We sent Timothy to strengthen you, to encourage you in your faith, and to keep you from becoming disturbed by the troubles you were going through...I sent Timothy to find out whether you faith was still strong. I was afraid the tempter had gotten the best of you...

Ever been in the middle of something really hard? Where you had to sit back and watch horrible things, not being able to do one thing about it. Where the control of what was happening was completely out of your hands, and you can't do anything to make it better?

I'm in the middle of that right now, and let me tell you as frankly as possible, it sucks. I am coming unglued.

And then I come across these verses this morning, where Paul is asking the church, how strong are you? Even in troubles? I am sending Timothy to find out.

We can say we love God, we believe in his strength and power, etc.... but in the middle of the crisis, where the rubber meets the road so to speak, I am convicted by the weakness of my faith.

I am astonished by my own desire to fix it all, and not give it all to my Father... who is in complete power and control. I am perplexed by my faithlessness and inability to trust him in this process. I thought I was stronger....

So, today I go before God with weakness. Broken and unable to do anything without his divine intervention. Unable to be whoever he needs me to be without a pouring out from him. Me alone today is weak, fragile, hurt, angry, and quite scared.

Our God is a God of peace, not confusion. Apart from him, we can do nothing. I need His power, healing, and strength... to give me faith in the process of learning to trust.