Realizations

Here's the thing...
the people out there who need the most help, usually don't want it. And there's nothing, absolutely nothing, anyone can do about it.

for the most part, I'm pretty positive. I am full of faith and hope. However, recently, I've seemed to just take it for what it is, in certain situations.

Sometimes, people just are hard. I can't change it. All I can do is work with God on me. Only he can change someone, and only someone else can respond to God's prompts for them to change. I have nothing to do with it. And so, let's face it... people often, DON'T change.

Even when they should. Even when it's life or death, and the relationships all around them of the people who love them are riding on it... they don't change.

So, my predicament is this... how can I learn to handle it when the person not changing is affecting me so much because I'm one of the loved ones watching? What do we do?

Sit in the middle of this pain with me. I have no control. I cannot change the person. I cannot change the situation. I have to sit here and watch. Watch the pain, watch the suffering, watch the unwillingness to move or bend. Wait for a miracle... and really, I have given up hope that it's coming because it's easier for me to live there, than to be hopeful and then disappointed.

All of this stuff, it is the core of me. My entire life is a result of this pain watching of the unmoved person. The realization that I will not ever be enough of a reason for someone to want to change.

And then, here's the miracle: I love him still. With every ounce and core of my being, i cannot escape or release this overwhelming powerful love. What is this inside of me, this un-fathomable love? It overcomes even the hardest, most broken obstacles, and pours out, even when not deserved or asked for. How is this possible? When all this is the flesh of me wants to lash out in anger and pain, the spirit cries love. Tears and sobs of love... wishing and hoping, even though I tell myself I know better than that.

I can't give up. And I won't.
Even though the reality is, things probably won't ever change.