Friday, August 5, 2011

Freedom


My "to do" list was big going into this week.  BIG.  Change my whole everything BIG, and deal with crap that has been piling up for 20 years BIG.  I can hear my friend Lara Casey's voice in my head, "feel the fear and do it anyway."

When I was in NY last week, I knew, in my heart of hearts, some things needed to be taken care of.  Done.  Crossed off.  And so, I took action.

I made that phone call.  I confessed.  I owned my past, and then let go of my past.  I've set the boundary.  I haven't bent my own rules.  I said "yes" to waking up each day and devoting time to God.  I've set boundaries around my media use.  I've focused on my work during my work hours.  I've said "no" to little lies that the evil one whispers in m ear.  I took a risk even though I feared rejection.  I only let one person be my LORD, Jesus.  Instead of depression, or fear, or worry or anger.  Only Jesus has rulership over me.  I indulged in what fires me up.  I dreamt a new dream.  I lived my ideal day.  Even though I'm not perfect, I made progress.  I invested in my marriage.  I invested in my kids.  I played.  I took care of myself.  I exercised.  I came from a place of LOVE each day.  I studied success.  I built my team.  I asked for accountability.  I said, "I love you because..."

I completed the items.  I felt fear.  I did it anway.  And the freedom in my heart is not able to be put into words.  It is indescribable, uncontainable, and who knows where it's going to take me.

And this place that I'm now in... this peace that now fills me, can't be matched by any other feeling or idea.  The truth.

Whats holding you back from having everything you deserve?  What lie in your head is telling you you don't deserve it?

Name it.  Feel it.  Look your fear in the eye, and do it anyway.

2 comments:

mare ball said...

Just finding you through another blog. This post is beautiful. I love finding other believers in the blogosphere. Your post encouraged me to take some decisions in my own life about my faith. I, too, want Christ to be first, and I have so many other time-wasters. You have a new follower!

mare ball said...

me again - I don't see how to join your site! Please let me know. :-)