I hate old wounds... and why is it that all it takes is one comment from some random person and I am right back in the middle of something really really really old and way too familiar?
It's like you are running around on the playground with one of those really big plastic balls that fills your life with joy and some really mean boy comes and snatches it out of your hands and runs away with it as fast as he can.
And there it is... all your hurt and pain caught in a compilation of emotion in the back of your throat. The shock of being robbed of your joy. The reminder that some people are just rotten, and toxic, and should be avoided at all costs. What's even worse is that they mascarade around looking like normal people. But they aren't.
So, rotten, mean, evil boy... here is what I have to say to you today.
I will no longer let you bully me. You go ahead and take my shiny new ball and run away with it. I could care less, because we all know those shiny big plastic balls always get popped and thrown away, that's why they only cost $2.99 in the first place. You go ahead, because I know what's true. I know in my heart who I am and who's I am. And you can't take it away from me. You, and your self righteous, smug, have to feel good about yourself all the time, prideful heart.
And I am going to go to bed tonight knowing that even though you blame everyone else for what you yourself have caused, I have only looked in the mirror and dealt with what I saw. And even though what I saw was hard to swallow, I took a long hard look anyway, and dealt with it. And every day, you still try to punish others for what is indeed your own issue. I feel a little sad for you right now.
Once again, pulling up my bootstraps and moving on. There are plenty of other things in life that are worth living for, loving, cherishing and enjoying that I really don't have time to sit here and cry over your spilled milk.
Lots of metaphors here, but you all get my point.
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